| J is for Joy Pt 2 |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|08:26 pm] |
Pre-dawn wakings notwithstanding, life is pretty fucking awesome right now. |
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| time-stamp |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|03:07 am] |
Keeping track of another 3 AM gallbladder attack.
BC, do you remember what day it was when I one at your place? Was it last Friday? I'm thinking it's happening about once a week. |
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| J is for Jambalaya, Jerk, Julienne, Juice, Jam, Jalebi, Jasmine, Jicama and Jerusalem artichoke |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|09:55 am] |
Talking to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) theevilchemist elsewhere on LJ I mentioned that one of the things I want to do to reduce my gallbladder symptoms is to eat less meat. It's something I've actually wanted to do for years anyway; getting the cattle prod of physical pain is a pretty effective kick in the butt to get on that. So to speak.
So the reason I say "wanting to" as opposed to "trying to" is that I really suck at changing my eating habits.
For one thing I hate cooking. I hate digging through recipes and trying to figure out from the description what might appeal to both Axel and me. I hate searching for the one elusive ingredient that always seems to be impossible to find. I hate left overs moldering in the fridge because I couldn't get it together to use up the last of something or because I can't figure out how to combine the left-overs from three previous experiments into a single meal just to get rid of them. Meat is mindless, you slather in garlic and slap it on the grill and there's dinner taken care of.
It occurs to me as I'm typing this that I'd probably love cooking if it was something I got to do once in a while. It's the tyranny of having to feed myself every damn day that makes it exhausting and sucks all the fun out of it.
So started off by buying a couple of cookbooks from restaurants where I eat once in a while, because I figure then I can try the food out and I'll know what I'm aiming at before I attempt to prepare it at home. That's step 1. Step 2 would probably be, you know, cracking the cover.
But cookbooks are pretty general and restaurants have a team of people making food in large enough quantities that stuff doesn't really go to waste. So this is the part where I turn to people on my f-list and ask you all to throw in your two cents. I know a lot of people on my friends list are major foodies. Some of you are vegetarian or vegan. And whether you're working right now or not, I'll bet that all of you really get the, "I want to be able to come home from a 40+ hours work week and just stick something in my damn mouth without it turning into a major project, thanks."
( likes, dislikes and other stuff )
So hit me. I'm sure other stuff will come up as I read your comments. Lets talk about cooking.
ETA 1: Things we already eat are curry and pasta. Having said that, my current recipes are pretty straightforward tomato-sauce based so variation is good.
Another thing I thought of after posting this; I'm not a big fan of "I Can't Believe It's Not Chicken" or whatever the call the current crop of meat-substitutes. I'm not morally opposed or anything, I just find them expensive.
ETA 2: New icon!
ETA 3: I should probably have mentioned that I'm looking for vegan rather than just vegetarian. I've developed an antagonistic truce with my lactose-intolerance but I'm the food prep for both me and Axel and he hates cheese. Also I want to watch my dietary cholesterol consumption since gallstones are formed directly out of cholesterol.
ETA 4: I work nights. There is no "after work" for me. I eat my main meal of the day at work so that's why I need food I can pull out of the freezer for today's dinner. |
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| J is for Jerks |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|03:29 pm] |
Toronto city workers failed to reach a new contract agreement with the city of Toronto by this morning's deadline. So as of just after midnight last night, the garbage collectors are on strike.
You got that? A garbage strike started just after midnight last night. Less than 24 hours ago.
Today there are two parks in the downtown area where people are reporting that somebody has dumped bags of garbage.
What the fuck is WRONG with people? |
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| I is for Introvert |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|10:42 am] |
The first time I ever had one of those Meyers-Brigs scores done was back when I worked at the pharm. They were using it as some kind of team-building exercise, and it was decided that based on my answers I was an INTP. Little bit "P". Really "T". Little bit "N". Really really really holy-crap-lookit-that-score "I". The "I" of course, stood for Introvert.
And nobody I worked with would believe it.
I got told I couldn't possibly be an introvert because I had purple hair and a nose ring. Because I had a lot of friends and regularly went to clubs and parties. One woman even told me I was too smart to be an introvert.
My absolute favourite reaction was from the director - herself a strong extrovert - who proposed that the test be administered during the interview process so that potential introverts could be weeded out before they got hired. To this day I have no idea whether or not she was joking.
All that was a long time ago. Now it's the twenty-first century and introverts are kind of like gay people - most folks who have a net connection have at least heard of us. Even if they don't know any themselves they have friends who have friends who are "innies" and the general consensus is that we should mostly be treated like normal people.
Because there are websites on Absolutely Everything there are even sites that talk about introverts. What they're like and how to take care of them. I've read a few. And eventually even the smartest ones, the ones written by introverts themselves say something stupid. Something like: "An introvert will prefer a quiet night with a few close friends than a loud party." Or "will prefer an evening of television at home over a crowded concert."
And I'm here to say in response to these pearls of wisdom, "Malarkey." I'm about as introverted as a human can get without actually turning into a hermit crab. And I love going to loud concerts and crowded parties - when I feel like going out. The only difference between me and some E-to-the-extreme extrovert like say, the_axel is that for him being around people is energizing. For me it's exhausting.
So while I can honestly say that I love being around people, my love bears certain similarities to how I love say, hiking. Or working out. Or really athletic sex. Because no matter how much I love it and no matter how much fun it is, eventually I'm going to get tired and I am going to have to stop. (The other similarity is that no matter how much I know I'm going to enjoy it once I get there, I still often have trouble getting off my ass to leave the damn house. Or that might be one of those other little-known personality traits like "lazy" or "addicted to Warhammer".) And it's also the case that when other things are going on, like depression (hello) or stress, my people-energy is the first expendable resource that my brain will jettison.
bcholmes is an introvert like me. the_axel, on the other hand, is a major extrovert. People recharge his batteries. He's never happier than when he is presiding over one of his pig roasts like an indulgent King in a Hawaiian shirt. When I would go through one of my never-leave-the-house phases he used to try to stay in with me and be The Good Boyfriend. Over time I could watch him visibly wilting from lack of stimulation. Eventually he couldn't take it any more and would drag me out to some social event - and then I wouldn't be able to get it together to go to work on Monday.
It took us a while but we finally managed to figure out that yes; he should go out dancing with our friends every week without me. He would get his much-needed social time and I would get THE ENTIRE HOUSE TO MYSELF omg bliss! for a night. Both of us are happy and it means when I have the spoons available to do social events I end up enjoying them a whole lot more.
But what's really funny? He's the shy one of the two of us. The one who hesitates when it comes to walking into an environment where he doesn't know anybody. I can think of multiple occasions where we've sat down at a bar together and I've ended up dragging us into a conversation with the strangers sitting next to us and afterward he's said, "How do you do that?"
So, me and Axel are: shy/extrovert + outgoing/introvert. Put us together and you get a whole person.
(I would classify bcholmes as a shy/introvert. Now we just need an outgoing/extrovert to complete the set. I'll just have to send them out with the_axel on a regular basis so they don't drive me nuts.) |
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| 4 hours of sleep makes the world crunchy in milk |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|08:16 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | stories | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | you can call me "death" | ] |
Somebody on alt.gothic found the old a.g quotes page. Keep in mind this was ten years ago - long before Deja News, never mind google. And it's still up. That's centuries in internet years.
What made me laugh is that somebody submitted a post I made back when I still used to work in the virology lab.
"I've been working on a new project at work for the last couple of months. The people I'm working with are great, but the project... well, lets just say we don't have very high hopes for it. Too bad really.
In the midst of getting some rather discouraging results from our last set of experiments, I got to order some new lab coats for the four of us. They arrived last week.
The name tags say; "War" "Famine" "Pestilence" and "Death".
Just thought I'd share. ;->"
I had completely forgotten about doing that. Somehow I don't think I could get away with that kind of thing at that bank.
Besides, there are five people in PD Admin. |
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| since I'm not getting any effin' sleep anyway |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|05:46 am] |
I woke up from a dream yesterday morning with the following paragraph stuck in my head.
"Angels don't really get physics. There are tons of stories around of incidents like opening doors on space stations and letting the vacuum rush in because they didn't understand that on the manifest plane things don't necessarily just stay where you put them. For that reason it's best always to have one's visitations on solid ground."
The entire dream was a love story that took place after Armageddon/Apocalypse/Ragnarok. I may have to do an unscheduled NaDruWriNi soon just to get it all down. |
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| I is for Insane In The Membrane (Insane In The Brain) |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|12:22 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | braaaains | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | bedtime for Bonzo | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cypress Hill | ] |
Still not King.
Bugger.
the_axel's party was kind of an interesting experience[1]. I got to have lots of iterations of the conversation where people start off by saying, "We never see you." and I get to say, "Yeah, sorry about that. I never leave the house any more. I've been crazy."
I am very stubbornly determined to be Not Embarrassed about being crazy. I wouldn't be embarrassed if I had a broken leg, right? (Well I might, but only if the story of how I got it was really epic.) But I do still get kinda squirmy about talking to people about having this big lump of mental stuff and how I am, quite frankly, not dealing with it all that well. On the other hand, talking about it means I can't really get away from the fact that I'm not dealing with it all that well so that's a good thing in terms of pushing me back onto the right track[2].
What I am starting to get embarrassed about how bloody long this has been going on. I'm really fucking tired of it now and I would like to have my normal brain back, thank you very much.
It's hard to explain it to somebody who isn't in my head, but I've tried it a few times with BC & Axel. I describe it as wading in thick mud up to my chest. I'm dragging a cart through that mud and everything that I need to deal with, good or bad, is a weight on that cart. Work. Housework. Money. Family. Doctors. Eventually even the stuff I'm not doing becomes a weight. The dishes haven't been done in a week. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned in two months. Even the smallest things add up and as the cart gets heavier the harder it is to move. And the slower I go the less inertia I have to keep going. So eventually the whole thing stops and that's when I break into little pieces. That part is singularly unpleasant for me and anybody around me. I try to avoid it.
And as much as I love my friends and like hanging out with them, I really am a true introvert. Interacting with other human beings, no matter how pleasant, is another weight on that fucking cart.
On the plus side, unlike a few months ago where just getting through the day was running me into some pretty serious deficit, I now have enough space to add one or two things to my get-through-the-day list[3]. If I'm smart they will be things that make me get better as opposed to things that just feel good. Historically I'm not very good at doing that. But I'm getting really fed up of never leaving the damn house.
[1] Also fun. I know I'm getting better because I didn't have to hide in the bedroom and wibble even once.
[2] Basically I've been working tons instead of doing the things that make me get better. Because I need the money. Which is screwed up priorities, I already knew that. Saying it out loud to people who give me the scrinchy face when I own up makes it harder for me to justify doing it anyway.
[3] I was terrified of what was going to happen on my trip to the Netherlands/UK. I ended up being vastly improved. I credit walking 5 billion miles per day and getting as much sleep as I wanted whenever I wanted. I hung out with other humans every day and I was fine really up until the last day. Now that I'm back I'm still better than I was when I left, but nowhere near as good as I was when I first returned. |
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| well that's finally over |
[May. 31st, 2009|01:36 pm] |
Lola died yesterday morning.
I have two aquariums, heat lamps and substrate that I will be giving away to local people. I don't think I want to have any more pets for a while. |
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| stepping on the scale |
[May. 24th, 2009|12:02 pm] |
I called Tele-Heath the other night to discuss whether or not I should be concerned about just how much my gallbladder hurt. (Their conclusion; in the absence of vomiting, fever or jaundice take some painkillers and see a doctor during business hours.)
One of the questions they asked me was, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?"
And I had to think about how to answer that. Because my pain scale changed completely from the experience of having adenomyosis for six years. On a scale of 1 to 10, the adenomyosis was a 12. Childbirth was a 4. If my gallbladder wakes me up in the middle of the night but I'm still capable of having a conversation on the phone - that rates about a 2.
So I said 6.
I still have no idea whether or not that was the right answer. |
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| ich bin ein auslander |
[May. 8th, 2009|10:55 am] |
First impression of the Netherlands: It's very green. It's also very clean.
First impression of the Dutch: They all look disturbingly healthy. Very tall and and fresh-faced and wholesome. It's kind of freaky.
The impression that will stay with me the longest: I have never seen so many bicycles in one place in my life before. In fact, I think if I added up all the bicycles I have seen in my life before there are still more of them here. |
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| for the Kegger Contingent |
[May. 2nd, 2009|12:49 am] |
In response to my last post dali_muse brought up a question about Convergence. Which made me finally admit to myself that I'm not going to be able to go this year.
I was putting off making that call in the hopes I could still squeeze the funds out of somewhere. But I had budgeted a certain amount of money for that trip and as of today Lola's vet bills have now hit a total twice what I had hoped to put aside. Something had to go. And as my other big optional expenses for the year are a) already paid for and b) non-refundable... Convergence is it.
So I'll be seeing you lot in Utah. |
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| it has come to this |
[May. 1st, 2009|09:33 pm] |
Today has been such a resounding anthem of suck that I have actually reverted to the comfort food of my people[1].
Kraft Dinner
[1]By which I mean Scarborough. |
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