| F is for Fetish |
[May. 15th, 2008|09:55 am] |
A friend on LJ made a post a little while back that got me thinking about fetishes. The post was basically said Friend reacting very strongly to somebody showing up at a fetish night wearing a Nazi uniform. Friend was extremely offended by the dress choice and strongly condemned the individual wearing it.
My very first instinctive reaction to the post was to be surprised.
After all, one of the defining characteristics of a fetish is that it isn't under conscious control, right? And the whole point of why fetish events got started in the first place[1] was so they could provide a safe space where one can explore all the dark, oogie, uncomfortable[2] places in one's psyche. Where people with fantasies about violence or humiliation - things they could never inflict on a non-consensual partner - can instead be acted out in a structured environment. Where people who are fascinated by inappropriate lust-objects can do a little harmless role-playing and not hurt anybody.
The idea of being turned on by role-playing a Nazi is pretty disturbing. But I figure that it's kind of inevitable that somebody - or maybe a whole bunch of somebodies - would eventually develop that kind of sexual association, given our culture's apparent fascination with the power and abuses of Hitler and the Third Reich. And it's certainly not the only disturbing fetish that is openly explored at play parties. Pedophilia isn't exactly what I'd call socially acceptable, but the image of the Catholic school girl is so common in fetish events that I've seen entire theme nights based around it.
So this is all the stuff that initially goes through my head. And then the second thought hits, and I remember. The person who made the post is part of the goth/industrial community. And goth/industrial fetish nights have nothing to do with sex. They're all about dressing up in PVC and going dancing.
So what friend was offended by was not some guy coming to terms with the problematic parts of his sexuality in a safe environment - it was some dork who thinks Nazi dress looks cool at a club.
Never mind then.
OTOH, it did make for some interesting dinner conversation later. And as ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) the_axel pointed out, any time he's ever met somebody wearing any kind of Nazi regalia - they've turned out to be a Nazi.
[1]In the queer community. At least in Toronto.
[2]Or to be more accurate, where other people can explore the dark, oogie, uncomfortable places in their psyches. I keep mine firmly repressed. |
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| E is for E.S.P. |
[May. 13th, 2008|12:37 pm] |
I used to date somebody who was really big on the concept of taking a stand. He believed very strongly that most people are apathetic or cowardly when it came to confronting anything wrong or unjust, that the world would be a better place if more people were willing to call out bad behaviour when they saw it.
I had the experience of growing up in the era when cops wouldn't press charges in cases of "domestics" and when teachers and doctors refused to get involved even when I flat-out told them what was going on in my house. So this kind of commitment to getting involved pushes a great big button for me. But after a while I started to come to the conclusion that in his eagerness to take some kind of decisive action, he didn't appear to be all that interested in making sure he knew what the best action was to take. He just wanted to be doing something, and once he had made his mind up any new information was deemed to be making excuses. I was frequently confused by his conviction that he could pick out the guilty parties in a dispute where (in my mind) he really didn't seem to be in a position to know what had really happened. When he started making pronouncements about events that I had witnessed and he hadn't I finally decided he was full of shit, and that was the end of my emotional investment in his desire to take a stand on the side of righteousness.
I bring him up because he was an extreme example, and because, well, extreme or not he's an example of something that I see all the time. People seem to want a conclusion, any conclusion. When the OJ trial was going on people would occasionally ask me whether or not I thought he was guilty. I would respond that I didn't know, I hadn't been following the case. "But what do you think?" they would persist. They seemed baffled at the idea that I could honestly have no opinion. I, for my part, was baffled that seemed to want me to have an opinion based on... air or something.
I am probably especially conscious of this kind of thing. One of the ways in which I carry around my damage is that I am extremely over-sensitive to feeling like I have been convicted without benefit of trial. I can't count the number of relationships (friendships and otherwise) that have ended because somebody decided they already knew What I Did - and for bonus points Why I Did It - without deigning to ask me about it first. As soon as I feel like I'm being called upon to justify somebody else's versions of my actions, I pretty much immediately lose all interest in having the discussion at all and that's not really conducive to working things out.
So when I see people taking sides on a issue - any issue - the first thing I want to know is what they are basing their conclusions on. And a lot of the times the answer is information sources that I honestly don't know how to evaluate. What it looks like from my perspective is that people are putting a lot of faith in third- or forth-hand reports - whereas I tend to assume that even people who were there don't necessarily have the whole story. Or that people are making the emotional decision to believe person X over person Y because they simply like person X better - whereas I tend to assume that even the best of people screw up and make mistakes and misunderstand things and make errors in judgment.
It's possible that I am hyper-critical of information. I do happen to believe that most people usually try to tell the truth. I just don't believe that people unfailingly know what the truth is. If you've ever read Stranger in a Strange Land there's a passage where somebody asks a character in the story what colour a house is. She responds, "It's painted white on this side." That's me.
And this disconnect happens often enough that I've actually started to wonder if there is some additional information going around that I just don't have the skills to access. I mean, the whole time I was growing up I kept running afoul of all the unwritten rules that nobody ever explained but that everybody else seemed to understand through some kind of osmosis. It took me many years of watching people to figure out just how much information is transmitted non-verbally. Maybe this is another one of those cases where I'm missing something that is so obvious to other people that they can't even articulate where they got it - it just becomes yet another thing that "everybody knows".
Or maybe people just have ESP. |
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| Earth Hour |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|11:57 pm] |
Ended up being three. 'Cause we were too busy with our candle-lit dinner and our post-dinner candle-lit conversation to notice the passage of time.
We have already decided that next year we are hosting a dinner party. Because there is something about the flicker of flame light on skin that results in intimacy and conversation and a kind of gentleness towards other human life forms that you really can't find under electric light.
I will not be unhappy if this ends up being a tradition. |
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| intrepid travellers miss important local Canadian icon |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|06:53 pm] |
Highway 32 is a local road in Saskatchewan that runs off the Trans Canada and connects the towns of Leader and Swift Water. It's important to the locals in that there is one hospital that serves both communities, located in Swift Water.
So apparently, the province neglected the local road to the point where the potholes made it impassable to emergency vehicles. (For those of you who live in warm climates, frost fractures asphalt, and water erosion causes the soil underneath to move around. So every spring massive amounts of money has to be spent filling in brand new holes. Toronto has already spent a third of their pothole budget, and the snow hasn't even finished melting yet.)
So after years of ineffectual lobbying, the locals came up with a brilliant scheme to pressure the province into doing something about the problem. They published a calendar Featuring 12 local business people, posing naked with their favourite pothole.
The calendar is from 2007. We drove right by there and we didn't know about it!
This spring, the province of Saskatchewan finally started filling in the potholes. |
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| B is for Boycott |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|01:38 pm] |
(It was going to be about Booze, but so many people on my f-list are talking about the boycott I decided I'm going to be a lemming today.)
I'm a paid user. I pay to support a service I use frequently, just as I buy CDs by bands after I've downloaded all their music and decide I like what they do. I believe in contributing financially to the things that I use whenever I can so that they can continue to do the thing that I like.
And in this case, what I like is reading posts. Posts written by people I like, people I care about, people I couldn't give two shits about but who have interesting things to say, and people who I honestly can't remember why they are on my f-list in the first place but I've kind of gotten used to following how their lives unfold. Compared to that, the ability to create polls or store pictures or make phone posts or have 50 billion WWJCD icons means absolutely zero to me.
And although I assume many of the posts I read are made by paid users there is an equal or larger number that are not. And if enough of them go elsewhere or simply drop off the face of the earth, my reason for paying goes away.
That's why I supported the strike. I don't think LJ is going to take any financial hit[1] because a bunch of people all decide not to log in for one day. The strike was not about punishing the new owners of LJ. It was about making the point that those to create content for the site, those who drag in their friends and relatives and make the site engaging for everybody, they are the reason that LJ can convince people like me to fork over my membership fee, and the reason why advertisers want to hawk their wares here in the first place. Non-paying users deserve to be treated with respect, as valued contributors and not as freeloaders.
Because if LJ pisses off enough regular users that the majority of my f-list moves over to InsaneJournal or GreatestJournal, I probably won't give up my LJ account. But they'll probably stop being the ones who get my money.
[1]Although I admit I have no idea how google ads revenue works so maybe I'm wrong. |
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| A is for Ailments |
[Mar. 11th, 2008|10:53 am] |
I am totally stealing this trope from the_other_j.
One of the ways in which I think my workplace maybe hasn't fully thought things through is their policy towards sickness and attendance. Attendance and punctuality in the call centre are what they call "performance measures". And I totally get the driver for this, you can't call customers if you don't have bums in seats. Where it kind of breaks down is where this policy interacts with the meat-based life forms that occasionally get colonized by various viruses, bacteria and parasites.
Because one of the other policies that they have is an employee's personal medical information is private and none of the managers' business. Also completely legitimate. But it leaves a sick employee in a kind of a weird limbo - we can't provide any confirmation that we are in fact ill and not just malingering, but we'll also get dinged on our performance ratings for taking the time off to get better.
So the end result is fairly predictable. Everybody comes to work sick. And in a densely populated room where people sit close together and breathe recirculated air, the result of that decision is likewise entirely predictable. There isn't one bug that hits anybody who works here that isn't shared widely and shared often. I can watch my co-workers get leveled one by one whenever a particularly virulent flu or cold hits town. This most recent one has resulted in epic levels of absenteeism.
Last year when I was really sick I took time off until I got better, or at least less infectious. And I got rated poorly for it. This year I've been dragging myself into work with everything from contagious dandruff to projectile leprosy. And when people ask me why I don't keep my sick ass at home, I tell them the truth - protecting their health directly penalizes me. But if I make everybody else sick my numbers end up looking pretty good.
I'm kind of hoping that this current bug works it's way through the management chain to the people who in charge of the attendance policy. But even if it does I know my victory will be entirely Pyrrhic. They're allowed to take time off. |
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| just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|11:12 pm] |
Somebody on my f-list posted this video a while back.
For those who don't want to click on it, it's a clip from some expose-style news show doing a segment on cleaning practices in hotel rooms. They film some housekeeping staff cleaning the used glasses by spraying them with a little glass cleaner, wiping them off with a (also used) hand towel and putting them back on the counter as clean. One of them without stopping to change the plastic gloves she wore while cleaning the toilet.
At the time I thought "Ew" but didn't put too much thought into it past that. Everybody knows there are businesses out there that cut corners to save money. And being paranoid about every single thing that might go wrong isn't really my thing.
But then the_axel and I were in a hotel on Friday night. And a housekeeping cart went by and I looked at it, and I thought about that video, and I wondered - if "proper" hotels do cart the glasses off each day to be washed and sterilized - where do they put them?
Because in our room alone there were two water glasses and two glass coffee mugs. Multiply that by every room on the floor and there was no way the housekeeping cart that was already piled high with towels and pillow cases and those little packaged soaps would have room for the space and weight taken up by all that glass. That would require a second person coming around with a separate cart just for dealing with glassware.
And in all my years of staying in hotels, I've never seen one.
So is there anybody on my f-list who has ever worked in a hotel and can shed a little light?
Because as much as I think most North Americans are bat-shit crazy when it comes to germs, if they aren't even using soap on the damn things - I'm bringing a travel mug every time I stay in one from now on. |
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| petition to get Cat Le-Huy out of Dubai prision |
[Feb. 1st, 2008|10:47 am] |
I don't think I've ever met Diz but many of my UK friends are gutted over his imprisonment.
Full details here.
There is a petition here begging the Emir for his release. Sign it if you can. It may not help, but then again, it just might. |
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| triumverate. or as we say in Canadian, "hat-trick" |
[Jan. 10th, 2008|02:08 pm] |
Dude, this is great. Next topic.
One of my cousins runs a facility for schizophrenic seniors who cannot live unassisted. Last time I saw him he regaled us with the story of the federal government staff who were sent to record the votes of the clients. Apparently Elmer Fudd represented a strong write-in.
There are a group of homeless people who I often encounter on one of the main streets near my house. There is a soup kitchen in the area, a community centre with a needle exchange and a library where they can use the computers. I was standing on the corner waiting for a streetcar and ended up in a long conversation with a couple of them about the municipal election that was taking place that day. Every person who passed by was challenged, "Did you vote! Make sure you go vote!" It was probably the most politically engaged group I've ever met in this country.
A conversation else-net happened where I found out that in some states in the US, not only can prisoners not vote, people with criminal records can't vote. I looked up our rules, and prisoners are specifically instructed that they cast their vote in the riding where they would be living if they were not currently incarcerated. All Canadian citizens over the age of 18 have the right to vote. Period.
All of which makes perfect sense to me. How can people who suffer from mental illness, who are homeless, who are incarcerated, expect their rights to be represented unless they can vote?
How does it work where you live? Do you agree or disagree with it? |
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| holy crap, Internet Oracle |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|10:44 am] |
So it seems like if you want to get a lot of comments you ask a question about a controversial topic.
Let's experiment and see if I can do it again.
So I'm on a mailing list where the discussion topic is the ban on gay and bisexual men donating blood to Canadian Blood Services. The person defending this ban claims it is necessary to safeguard blood recipients against HIV and Hepatitis.
I claim overt bigotry.
What do you think?
[EDIT] To be precise, the actual ban is on men who have ever had sex with men. They also ask women if they have ever had sex with a man who has ever had sex with a man. They do not ask questions about safe-sex practices. They do ask if you have ever had a test for HIV and why. |
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| oh, mighty internet oracle |
[Jan. 8th, 2008|10:19 am] |
Just out of curiosity, why would somebody be "anti vaccination".
Or is it short form for something? |
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| And isn't nature wonderful, But is this Art? |
[Dec. 1st, 2007|04:54 pm] |
So an OCAD (Ontario College of Art & Design) student does an art project that consists of putting a fake pipe bomb somewhere outside the Toronto Art Gallery. It has a note on it that says, "This is not a bomb."
He calls into the gallery and tells somebody that there isn't a bomb on the premises. He makes a couple of youtube videos (one and two) of a fake explosion.
Somebody discovers the fake bomb and the cops are called. The building is evacuated. An AIDS fund raiser scheduled for that night is canceled - causing a loss of approximately a third of their operating budget for the year.
The artist is charged with public mischief. He is also suspended from OCAD for academic misconduct.
The question is. Is it art? |
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| pleather thou? |
[Sep. 18th, 2007|11:29 pm] |
I was thinking about something totally different tonight, and somehow two things converged in my head, and I started wondering.
How does the carbon footprint of leather shoes compare with those made out of petro-chemicals?
I think this popped up because I was reading about PETA's public statement that one cannot be an environmentalist while consuming animal products and then I started thinking about how I really can't see myself wearing clothes that are made of artificial fibres, and it kind of snowballed from there. Most leather comes from cows which are horrible for the environment. Artificial substitutes are made from a non-renewable resource, but the issue is less about running out of the stuff as it is what kind of mess we make using it.
So what do you think? |
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| take this one, it gives you colours |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|11:43 pm] |
Is anybody aware of any studies looking at a correlation between depression and recreational drug use?
[EDIT] From the perspective of the drug use happening before the depression. I'm well aware of the other way around. |
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| it occurs to me |
[Mar. 3rd, 2007|11:32 am] |
A whole bunch of my local friends are taking part in this;
http://www.driventoquit.ca/
You could click on the link to find out what it is, but I'll just tell you. It's a contest being held by the Canadian Cancer Society. If you quit smoking for a month (and there will be blood tests) you can win a car.
Am I the only person that thinks it's kinda weird that they are encouraging people to give up something that's bad for their health - by offering the chance of winning something else that's bad for their health? |
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| a history of colour |
[Feb. 18th, 2007|06:14 pm] |
Feburary is Black History Month in Canada. I have the vague idea that it might also be Black History Month in the US, but only because of something I saw on The Daily Show.
My workplace prides itself on being very pro-diversity. So now when we walk onto my floor from the elevators we pass right by a display that talks about black Canadians of note. I stopped to read it the other day, and realized that all the plaques are titled "Contributions of African-Canadians".
And if my lily-white Celtic self spotted this, you can bet it did not escape the notice of all the Carribbean-Canadians who work there, and who probably outnumber the employees of African birth or descent by a ratio of about 80 to one.
Now I know why every time somebody mentions the subject of Black History Month the Jamaican guy who sits next to me yells, "You mean African-Canadian History Month" and then falls over laughing. |
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| local events |
[Feb. 5th, 2007|04:39 pm] |
Somehow I manage to get on these really interesting mailing lists.
Not sure how these folks found me, but the events sound like they might be of interest to some of the art & activist-inclined on my f-list. Posted here in case anybody wants to check them out.
( snipped for locals ) |
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| species under glass |
[Jan. 18th, 2007|01:47 am] |
Axel is passed out, and I'm sitting ony my computer with a bottle of wine instead of going to bed. I always do this the night before my day off.
I think I miss working for myself.
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You know, if I judged soley by the people I work with, I would conclude that car drivers are a bunch of real sad-sack whiners.
See, the office block where I work has parking - for a few hundred people. There are somewhere between three and four thousand working here. They tell you this right during the initial interview. Parking for maybe one in eight people. Do the math.
So people know this and they take the job anyway. And they drive in from Whitby or Burlington, or whereever it is that they live. And they park in the side streets and get tickets, or in the local malls and their cars get towed. At breaks they scramble around to move their vehicles or try to wipe the marks off their tires. And they bitch and moan every single day about how the company doesn't have enough parking for all the employees. To the point where even the people who don't drive will kvetch about it, saying, "I think it's rediculous that the bank doesn't provide parking blah, blah blah".
It's starting to seriously get on my tits.
I mean, these are generally really nice people. I like them. I like working with them. But for some reason they have this idea that because they chose to accept a job in a town where they do not live, it's the company's fault that they can't find a convenient place to stash their vehicle for the shift.
I mean, I travel by public transit, and if I am offered a job in a location where I can't get to work, I take that into consideration and DON'T TAKE THE FUCKING JOB. I have yet to spend any time kvetching that my employer doesn't spend money on sending a private bus to my door to pick me up. I have also yet to hear any of the other public transit users make any such a complaint.
So recently I finally said to a couple of the guys in question, "Why don't you organize a car pool? Several hundred people who live in reasonable vicinity of each other work similar shifts and could participate." They laughed it off. I don't want to ride with him, he smells. Etc. And the next day they were running outside at break and moving their cars so they don't get a ticket from the mall security.
I don't get it.
I'm starting to wonder if the suburbs aren't genuinely an alternative universe.
What I'm listening to right this second: The Clash |
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