| look at that S car go |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|06:01 am] |
This picture is from one of our pig roasts. We have hundreds of snails in our backyard.
So my question is; does anybody know if they are edible?
(I know they eat really well. Mostly because they eat all my plants.) |
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| medical question |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|02:45 pm] |
What would you eat if you were told to stick to "soft" foods?
All I can think of is soup and yogurt. |
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| F is also for Floozy |
[May. 17th, 2008|07:42 pm] |
You know, every time ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) the_axel plays the Evil Dead soundtrack, I find myself wondering why it is that whenever there is a slut character in a play/book/movie, she is always portrayed as dumb.
Why can't it ever be a smart woman who just happens to have a somewhat greedy taste for the pleasures carnal? Why is the default assumption that those two personality traits must always be diametrically opposed?
Is it just because the writers who pump this shit out have never met any?
Siobhan "I was a turbo trollop and still managed to graduate" NiLoughlin |
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| I can has new time-waster |
[May. 17th, 2008|12:52 pm] |
The new alt.gothic wiki is a fantastic way to kill, oh, days worth of time.
No wonder I never actually manage to accomplish anything useful. |
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| D is for Dishabille |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|10:57 am] |
All you people who maintain the illusion that I'm some kind of a bad-ass would completely change your opinion of me if you ever spotted me while clothes shopping.
I am hard on clothes. I wear them until they are close to tatters. I have one(1) pair of jeans not mended with patches, and only because I need something decent to wear on casual days at work.
Part of the reason for this is that I hate hate hate clothes shopping with a deep and passionate vitriol. What I want to do is walk into a store, pick up what I need, pay for it and leave. I can do that with music, books, food and power tools. What I can't do it with is clothes.
Unfortunately I'm at the point where I really can't put off the task of going shopping for very much longer. I was down to my last two functional bras - except that on one of the them the underwire pokes a fresh hole in the fabric every time I wear it and starts creeping up and out the neck of my shirts. I've been patching the holes up but the fabric is now more spiderwebs of threads than anything else, and it's just not working any more. And on the other one I broke the underwire - snapped it in half - over two months ago.
So now I'm down to no functional bras. And last weekend I finally screwed up my courage to visit the store where I normally buy such items. Where I have been secure in the knowledge for many years that even though I might hate the process, I at least know their stock and approximately where everything is kept.
It's closed.
Shit.
OK, I can handle this. I'm a capable mature adult. I asked a few female friends were they go to buy underwear and since I just happened to find myself downtown yesterday after work, I made the last-minute decision to get this over with. I think the "last-minute" part is where the fatal error occurred.
I walked into the department store. I held my breath to hurry past the perfume aisles the way I always do, consulted the store map, and then took the escalator to the forth floor.
And found myself surrounded on all sides by women's unmentionables of every possible shape, size, fabric, colour and construction. Rows and shelves and racks of lace, cotton, polyester, boning, pleats, bows, straps, pink, red, black, white, blue, purple, striped, piped, patterned, reinforced, polka-dotted, strapless, topless, padded, belted, scooped, propped and ribboned.
I froze.
A salewoman made a vague meander in my direction and I bolted.
So I'm sitting here making this post while my underwire gradually creeps up my cleavage and tries to stab me in the neck. And I know I will have to go back to the store and try again.
I just need to psyche myself up for it first.
And maybe have a couple of belts.
And carry a power tool in my pocket. Just for comfort, of course. |
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| ughhhh |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|08:12 am] |
I swear that I am going to bed early tonight if I have to hire somebody to come over and shoot me with a tranquilizer dart. |
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| strategies for mohawk recovery |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|10:34 pm] |
It occurred to me tonight (after reading a series of unhappy posts about unpleasant neighbour situations) that I could rent myself out for a largish hourly rate to play the Big Scary Bull-Dyke Who Shows Up At The Door And Asks Dude To Turn Down The Fucking Porn Already.
Seriously. This could be a whole new career for me. |
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| looking up |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|09:04 am] |
1. Axel took my box apart and removed a good centimetre thick layer of dust from the video card. It appears to be happy again.
2. Cleaned the hell out of the breadbox and am about halfway through cleaning the kitchen shelves and sorting/throwing out the various jars and tins. Set mousetraps. No dead bodies this morning, but also no new poop.
3. Had "the talk". Not sure what's going to happen next, but I no longer feel like punching anybody.
Thanks for the virtual hugs and pints. They are appreciated.
[EDIT] And now I have a punching bag! How cool is that? |
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| my day in a nutshell |
[Mar. 26th, 2008|11:01 pm] |
9 snarks, one Schadenfreude, 14 grumps and one good hard cry in the bathroom.
I really need to go get that punching bag. |
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| B is also for Blotto |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|05:55 pm] |
I used to be able to say I couldn't remember the last time I threw up from drinking. Now I can say I can't remember the second-last time I threw up from drinking.
(The first time was over 20 years ago and involved crawling out of a house party on my hands and knees and puking all over a cop. Never let it be said that I do anything in a small way.)
So apart from saying that the_axel and elusis are the most excellent of friends to have when one has imbibed rather too much gin, there is actually a story to this story. And that story is the sequence of events where elusis came over to talk to me in the club, watched me take a sip out of my drink and put it down, blinked, and said, "What is that?"
...and plucked a cell phone out of my cup.
melete looked over and said, "Hey, that's mine."
Nobody knows how her cell phone managed to make it's way out of her sealed purse and into my g&t. All I know is that reality moved four feet to the left that night, and I got a touch of motion sickness as a result. |
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| barrel fish and the shooting thereof |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|09:33 am] |
Is is lame to be proud of yourself for coming up with the world's simplest solution to a problem just because you know nobody else in your department would have thought of it? |
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| wonder what that's all about |
[Mar. 11th, 2008|08:50 am] |
Yep. Definitely listing to port. |
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| WE HAVE INTERNET! |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|10:16 pm] |
Now, do I get caught up on all those emails?
Fuck it. Video games it is. |
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| only in Canada you say? |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|12:10 pm] |
City Facing A Shovel Shortage
This is the headline that had me giggling all the way to work this morning. |
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| Your 15 minutes is up. Everybody back on their heads |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|11:50 pm] |
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Nixon & Presley consulting Axel on matters of state
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Home. House still standing. Have beam. Covered in dust. Still mostly net-less.
Had much fun. Thanks to those who put up with us. Apologies to anybody we may have infected.
Must fall down now.
Articles to be added later. |
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[Feb. 21st, 2008|02:00 pm] |
Wall-smashing + cleaning up after wall smashing + trying to get organized for trip + full-time job + wanting to sleep all the time so cold will GO THE HELL AWAY ALREADY + no computer set up at home = not much time spent on LJ.
See ya some time in March. |
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| pop tarts |
[Jan. 27th, 2008|12:27 pm] |
I'm not completely immune to pop culture, much as I might like to be. The world of people who make front page news by falling off the stage at concerts, getting busted for drunk driving, losing custody of their children and offing their spouses leaks in around the corners every time I stand in line at a supermarket or pick up one of those free daily "news" papers off the bus seat next to me.
I wouldn't know most actors if one bit me on the leg, but occasionally when the person being talked about is a musician of some kind I make a point of going to listen to their music because I actually care about that shit. So last night I looked up a bunch of wassername Winehouse videos on youtube.
Usually this causes me a world of hurt, but they actually weren't bad. Kind of catchy. Very Motown for white people. I now have that "Rehab" song stuck in my head in endless loop but since I'm very unlikely to ever hear it unless I actually want to it's not making me want to shoot myself.
But the one question I have to ask all my Brit friends, is that what you mean when I see you use the word "chav"? |
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| rhetorical question |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|10:33 am] |
Why does Axel always want me to make COMPLICATED and potentially LIFE CHANGING decisions before I've had my first coffee? |
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| the envelope please |
[Jan. 11th, 2008|10:12 pm] |
OK, so obviously I subtracted my own comments to make things more fair.
Anti-vaccination: 57
CBS donation policy: 94
Voting rights: 55
So there you have it folks.
"FAGGOTS! Still 39% more controversial than dead babies!" |
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